How is it almost the end of October? I feel like I blinked and suddenly, the leaves have turned into shades of golden yellow, orange and red.

I’ve always enjoyed fall. The crisp air and bright hues always gave me a sense of peace. The trees lose their leaves, but they leave a blank slate for beautiful new leaves to form next spring.

This October, I cannot help but compare the trees to my life. My life has been changing rapidly. I have been blessed with new opportunities. I feel like I’m in a new season of my life.

I started a new job. I now work for NAMI Northeast Region as a NAMI Services Leader. I feel so grateful and blessed for this new venture and I am excited to see where this position leads me.

Although there has been lots of joy and optimism. There have also been changes that are hard to process. I have been watching loved ones decline little by little. To see them struggle is heartbreaking. To see a once vibrant person become less and less like themselves is gut wrenching.

Unfortunately, I’ve seen this decline before and for that reason it is even harder to watch. My emotions, although overall happy with my life, I also feel overwhelmed and heartbroken. Loving someone with dementia is an emotional rollercoaster. There are good days and other days I want to crawl under a rock and never come out.

I’ve been yelled at and praised in the same day, sometimes within the same hour. My patience has been tested but I know what I am feeling is nothing compared to how they must be feeling.

All these struggles are mixed in with great family memories; pumpkin patches with the kids, trunk or treats, pumpkin carving and soaking up the crisp autumn air.

Although I’ve been triggered more times than I can count, I know I am blessed beyond measure. Despite the long days and wounds are being reopened, I’ve also been living in the moment. I know all too well that life is short.

I need to cherish the memories. I need to remember that although not all days are rainbows and butterflies, I am living a life I used to dream about. I have a loving husband, two beautiful children, a job I find meaningful and family and friends that would drop everything for me in a heartbeat.

I am truly blessed. God is good! As the sun sets tonight, I am looking to the sky with gratitude and amazement for not only my own transformation, but that I have the honor to witness my kids grow up and my loved ones grow old.

Life is full of seasons. Some are good and some are downright terrifying and hard. I’m learning in the hard seasons of life to embrace the struggle and enjoy the little moments of joy.