Doing something for the first time is scary. I saw the uneasiness and fear in my daughter’s eyes this past weekend before she ran her first 5k. She did it though. She faced her anxiety in the face and ran a 5k. Her face was beaming as she crossed the finish line. It definitely was a proud mama moment. I admire my daughter for conquering her fear and doing new things even if they…
A fog. That’s the best way to describe my mind lately. The last few months I’ve been in constant motion but without clarity. I’ve had a fogginess that has prevented me from seeing the full picture. The full picture that my life may be messy, but it’s still beautiful. I’ve had multiple triggers that have only intensified my lack of clarity. Triggers that cut deep and open up wounds that…
Suicidal thoughts. I’ve had several suicidal thoughts throughout this past week. March is a hard month filled with bittersweet anniversaries and birthdays. No matter how hard I try to prepare, it’s just downright hard. I prepared myself for March. I set up extra doctor and therapy appointments. I scheduled “me” time. Despite my preparation, I was still bogged down and overwhelmed with suicidal thoughts. Suicidal thoughts are something I have lived with for…
Sometimes words don’t come. Sometimes it feels like the weight of the world is on my shoulders and I just can’t do it anymore. Sometimes I feel like I’m stuck on a hamster wheel, constantly going, but getting nowhere. The last few weeks I have felt empty. I’ve been carrying around a heaviness in my heart. This Friday marks two years since my mom passed away. This Saturday, my son turns…
Today was a day that I would flush away if I could. It started out on a bad note. I woke up late with only ten minutes until I needed to get my daughter on the bus. As I rushed out of bed, I stepped in a puddle of pee left from my aging dog. Screams. I yelled way too much as I rushed my daughter out the door scrambling to get to the bus…
